Fear is a 4-letter word

I’m reflecting right now on fear. It really is a four letter word.

It holds you back.

It lies to you.

It tells you that change is too risky.

It makes you stay where you are.

It destroys your dreams, because it makes them seem unattainable.

It stops you. In your tracks.

If you let it, that is.

I had suspected for years that I have IBS. Today I know that I do. But it took at least 18 years of symptoms, a solid three week stint of crippling pain and issues, and a persistent partner and family to make me finally go to the doctor about the stomach issues I have had for as long as I can remember.

Nowadays, I talk to my dietician or my family about the changes I’ve experienced in the past eight weeks, and I can’t believe that I put myself through that for so long, and that I was going to keep doing that. That I had accepted it as my normal. Because I was worried I wouldn’t be believed, wouldn’t be taken seriously, or on the other hand, that I would be taken seriously and go through a rigmarole for it to turn out to be something (scary), or they would find nothing (scary) or something they couldn’t fix (very scary!)

This weekend’s reflection comes because of fear experienced elsewhere in my life (although the subsequent stress is certainly qualifying it as a IBS related topic lol).

But as much as fear is trying to get me to turn back on that front, I’m going to push through and forward.

Why?

Because I’ve learned that your thoughts become your reality, and I refuse to believe the reality my scared and fucked up brain is trying to tell me, and, because they say everything you want is on the other side of fear.

I hope you will all join me in saying another choice four letter word to fear – it has no place here anymore, and I hope it has no place with you either.

Love, Manda x

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